We are on the cusp of a New Year and I have been seeking God’s input on the good, the bad and the ugly of 2019, as well as an insight into where he sees me moving in 2020. I was drawn to a number of Bible verses, and one has started to stand out to me, which is Revelation 2:5 - which tells us to consider how far we have fallen, to repent, and do the things we did it first. Now initially when I read this it seemed a bit obscure, because I don't feel that I have particularly fallen, or have any specific big need to repent (outside of the day to day stuff); but it did make me think about how I used to worship God, how I would hear from him and be challenged by him in those early days of my faith (almost 5 years ago). And then it struck me, I had written a blog almost daily for over 2 years, which now sits dormant. Is this something God is calling me back to? It was such a great discipline for me to write every day, as I wrote I would study scripture, see more of God's beauty in his word, working things out in more depth as I delved deep into my Bible.
I was challenged, uplifted, excited and sometimes I felt God so close to me as I soaked in his word, it was a discipline that shaped my early walk with God.
New Year's Eve 2019, I am home alone, watching a Christian conference on YouTube and again I've been challenged to go back to my first love, to give Jesus my all, to consider what that looks like in my life. You know how it gets you when you have a message from God and then he sends you it a second time in as many days! So now I have a feeling that blogging is something that's going to become more prominent once more.
When I first started blogging it was predominantly through poetry. I feel that this time there will be a different emphasis and a different purpose, but certainly with the goal of glorifying God's name as I share what he has done for me, and what he can, and wants to, do for you.
Much has happened in my life since I stopped blogging, but my walk with Jesus has just got better and better. So many doors have been opened to help me share my testimony, I trust that this season of blogging is yet one more opportunity to use my story to help others as they walk the tightrope of same sex attraction.